Hollyworld: dementia

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

Caregiving

Something Blue's Hank was a very difficult character for me to write. He's got dementia. It's early in the process, but he is losing pieces of himself slowly. Dementia and Alzheimers are such awful, hard processes. They're the long goodbye. I was my grandmother's caregiver for years and watched her lose pieces of herself, bit by bit. I watched the vibrant, force of nature who was my grandmother disappear leaving just a shadow of herself. I later cared for a neighbor with dementia as well.

I really work to write honest—albeit optimistic—stories and I tried to bring a sense of honesty to Hank's character and the people who love him. And I hope that people realize that as awful as the disease is, there are moments of mercy. Even at her worst, my grandmother knew we were hers. She couldn't name us, but she recognized us. I could talk about things in her past and she'd respond. The same thing with my neighbor. My kids grew up taking care of my grandmother. My minions did the same with our neighbor. We visited frequently. For years she lived on the other side of town, but her last few years, she lived in a home within walking distance. Every week, the minions would suit up in one of their superhero outfits and ride their scooters (you can't ride a bike with a cape) to visit. They high-fived and chatted with a lot of residents. And when we got to our neighbor's room, she knew we were hers. When people asked about our May-December friendship, I had a simple explanation. I was like a fungus. She caught me and couldn't get rid of me. That friendship is also a part of Something Blue. Hank has a much younger friend who becomes close to him. Lily's his fungus.

Caregiving is a gift. It's hard, but the rewards are plentiful. I think my kids grew up better for caring for my grandmother, and I think the minions' lives were enriched as well.

I love writing a variety of characters. No matter their age or other specifics, they become friends. This book in particular feels like...well, home. I hope you find that in the entire Hometown Hearts series—a sense of home.

Thanks everyone for the support!

Holly

Here are links to the whole Hometown Hearts series!

Hometown Hearts:

Crib Notes: Hometown Hearts #1

Kindle, Nook, Kobo, iBook

A Special Kind of Different: Hometown Hearts #2

Kindle, iBook, Kobo, Nook

Homecoming: Hometown Hearts #3

Kin dl e, Kobo, I Books, Nook

Suddenly a Father: Hometown Hearts #4

Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks

Something Borrowed: Hometown Hearts #5

Available 1/5/21

Kindle, Kobo, Nook, iBooks

Something Blue: Hometown Hearts #6

Kindle, Kobo, Nook, Apple Books

Preorder: Something Perfect: Hometown Hearts #7 available 5/21

Apple Books, Nook, Kobo, Kindle

HollysWoodsStudio

Saturday, February 13, 2021

Something Blue

Family.

I've built a life and my writing career around family.

This Hometown Hearts Wedding trilogy deals with families. Friends who become families. Families who are made through adoption. Families who are born...Family. Watching people come together, fall apart, adapt... It's a fascinating process. Every story comes at it from a new direction.

We've talked before about how my real life impacts my writing. In March's book, Something Blue, I deal with dementia in an older loved one. It's a reality I know about. My grandmother slowly lost her battle with dementia over years. Then we adopted a neighbor who also battled that kind of loss. It's an awful process. And you might be thinking, Holly, that's too grim to read about. But that's not all there is. My grandmother always knew me and my kids. We visited every day. Even after she couldn't remember our names, she knew she was ours and we were hers. The connection was still there. She knew she was loved and she wasn't alone.

We saw the same thing with our neighbor. The Minions owned her entire nursing home. We walked over regularly. The two littles would dress up in their superhero capes and ride their scooters (you can't ride a bike in a cape). Not only did she know we were hers and she was ours, the entire nursing home knew the Minions. They high-fived their way through the halls. Some days they were Batman and Robin, sometimes they were Superman and the Green Lantern... What I loved the most is how gentle they were with everyone. They didn't worry if our neighbor didn't know their names. They filled her in on their day and chatted away and she loved it.

We missed those visits last year.

Someone once questioned why we visited if a patient didn't know us. I think that even when memories have gone, when someone is lost in their own mind, they recognize love. They feel it. It's a bright light in a dark place. So we visited. My kids and the Minions learned lessons on patience, empathy and love. And our loved ones learned no matter what they were never alone.

Those are the things I tried to put in Something Blue. Connection. Empathy. Love. I know I write romances and writing about love is obviously a part of that, but I really try to write about broader loves. About family. About all the ways they come together and all the ways they stand together.

I've built a life around family and I've built a career around it.