I watched Barbie this weekend and loved it. Loved the message and loved the memories. Oh, how I loved my Barbies. I had two Malibu Barbies that I dubbed the twins. I had a Ken who couldn't keep his head on his shoulders. I had a black haired Barbie...who was my first one. And... Well there was a whole gang. Oh the adventures they had.
I'm going to confess, the movie got me thinking about my life and who I am. What sort of woman I am. I've spent most of my life working as a writer...working for myself. There was no man I answered to. I've worked some marvelous female editors (if you're one of them reading this...thank you!). I've been surrounded by a cadre of women writers who've supported me and over the years have become more than colleagues, but rather friends.
But I'm more than a writer. That comes second to my other main job. I'm a mother of four—three are daughters. Looking back, I know I wasn't a perfect mother. God knows, I wasn't perfect. But I did try to be perfect in my attempt. I apologized when I was wrong. I tried to be there for them. And I hoped they saw in me a strong woman who spent her life trying to do her best and loving them wholeheartedly.
Do you remember Caps for Sale? The peddler wore a stack of hats on his head and had to balance them carefully. That's what being a woman is. Balancing a stack of hats as you walk through life trying to avoid the monkeys. The things you expect of yourself. The things others expect of you. Every choice you make adds a hat to the pile you carry.
I raised four kids. I've cared for other kids. I was a kindergarten story lady (like Pip in Carry Her Heart). I was on the PTA (like my PTA Mom trilogy). I was on the school board. I volunteered in a Teen Parenting program. I planned the kids game for our school's Feather Party (like Once Upon a Thanksgiving). When I was young, I cared for three younger brothers after school. Then I cared for my kids. Then my grandmother as she got older. My mother-in-law when she got sick (like Briar Hill Road). I cared for my neighbor, Marge, who had no one. We made her family. Now I care for the Minions and an aunt and...caring. That's been my life's major calling.
Back to Caps for Sale...I've dropped hats. Over and over again, the monkeys have come along and I've lost all my hats. But after a moment, I stopped, picked them up and kept going.
That's what being a woman is for me. A series of dropping my hats and then picking them up and getting on with it.
I agree with Barbie...being a woman is hard. But it's a joy. I might juggle a lot of hats and I might not be perfect, but truly it's been my glee.
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Around the Square
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You write the emotions you've lived in your life, which is why I can always see you in your books and why they are so valid and meaningful.
ReplyDeleteFrom JV
DeleteJV, Thank you so much. I really try to add that realism to my stories because honestly, they're so real to me. Every time I read the opening to Hold Her Heart, I choke up. And I know the ending's happy, but still...it guts me every time. LOL
DeleteHope you had a great holiday!