 |
| My great-grandfather |
She gave her daughter—my grandmother—up for adoption at birth. The family story was my grandmother's adoptive father was in actuality her birth father. The story I heard was that he had an affair, then he and his wife adopted the child, my grandmother.
My grandmother sent for her original birth certificate in the 70's. The name listed as the father wasn't my great-grandfather's name, but it was a variation. And the mother's name was listed—Sarah. I did a search and found two Sarah's listed with the same last name. Both were from small towns not far from where my grandmother was born. Both were of an age. But one ended up being a dead end. She married and had a son a few months before my grandmother was born. That left one.
I listed that Sarah on my tree, but she was a question mark. I thought there was a good chance it was her, but I couldn't be sure.
So I kept digging. Sarah was a maid in a big city. My g. grandfather was a railroad engineer who traveled to that city. So that made sense. The census after my grandmother was born, Sarah had moved back to her hometown. I found records that she went back to school and became a nurse. She lived with her family. Her brother and one sister got married. Sarah then moved in with another unmarried sister. They lived together until her sister died. Then Sarah lived alone. If this was my Sarah, I wondered if she thought about my grandmother. I wondered if she had a happy life. I wondered...
When my grandmother sent for that original birth certificate, Sarah was still alive and lived within driving distance. My grandmother never said a word about this to any of us, so I don't know if she ever went to meet Sarah, but it didn't seem likely to me. I talked to one of my grandmother's good friends, and she didn't think she had either. Still, I'd like to think she did, even if I suspect she didn't.
I did some more research and I traced Sarah's family back to Germany. I found a few newspaper articles that mentioned her.
But I still didn't know if she was MY Sarah.
That's where I left off. I was pretty sure Sarah was my great-grandmother, but I couldn't be sure. And while I still am not positive, I came closer to it lately. I did one of those DNA tests. A bunch of new names popped up on my relative list recently and I started searching for Sarah's fairly unique last name. And I've found a few matches that only have that one common surname. No one I can precisely match to Sarah's family, but the last name and in some cases the cities at a specific time match.
It's not quite proof, but I'm closer to feeling confident that Sarah is My Sarah. Other surnames from her family tree are matching in my DNA for distant cousins. That makes sense.
And to add to my genealogy glee, I started getting a lot of DNA matches to that dog of a g. grandfather. So I feel confident that much of the story is true.
I write about family in so many of my books. My broken family tree definitely plays a part in my fiction. I try to imagine how Sarah felt, giving up her child and that became part of Carry Her Heart. And I imagined that my grandmother did go meet Sarah (even though I don't think she did) and that became the sequel, Hold Her Heart.
I've talked before about how my real life influences my fiction. I like to think Sarah would like knowing that she's been found. That her child had a good life. That she had a great-granddaughter who found her and won't let her be lost again. And I like to think she appreciates she directly influenced my books.
 |
| One of my favorite finds, a southern family pic. |
Having so little of my family history has made me treasure each piece I find. When I started playing the my ancestry, I had a small family, but over the years, it's expanded. At first, I was a very northern girl. But as I've found my roots, I've found a ton of them down south in the Appalachian mountains. And stories. Oh, the stories. Relatives in politics. Sharecroppers. One Irish doctor who married a titled English girl then took her to America. They lived outside DC and the house he built her is still there. I treasure each new branch I find. And I'm thrilled I found Sarah...well, probably found Sarah.
I'll keep working on her. But for now, she's mine.
Holly
PS.
Check out 2018's releases!!
(And keep an eye out for 2019's! There are a bunch!):
PPS.
Have you missed our most recent Trippin' with Holly and Susan? You can catch up with them all on YouTube.
I love this. Even if you never find out everything about Sarah, I like that you hold her in your heart.
ReplyDeleteLiz, I'm so glad you loved this, too! And yes, Sarah's mine now. This is what I've been working for. I'm so thrilled that I'm finding some verification!
DeleteHolly, I agree that your grandmother probably never met her mother because she didn't have the resources to find her potential Susan. Besides her father and adoptive mother might have discouraged her from doing any searching. However, I feel very sure that you've found her and brought her back "home" to her place on the family tree. Since my mother passed away in 2016, I realized how much I don't know about my ancestry. I have some family stories, but they are mostly about my mom and dad and their immediate family. And some were rather unbelievable. I wished I had recorded or at least made a mental note about some of them, at least, but since I didn't, I decided to do a DNA test. I "knew" that my maternal grandfather was Irish and that his mother or grandmother was presumably named Melvira McVey. My mom so embraced her Irish ancestry that she called me every St. Patrick's Day to make sure I was wearing green, and when she pre-planned her funeral, she picked out an Irish blessing to read to the congregants from her. I "knew" that my dad's family was German, with the name Weber. So, I did a DNA test in hopes of finding more family and being able to fill in the many gaps on my family tree. I did find records pointing to a great grandmother named Elmira McVey. What threw me, though, was that, according to that DNA test, while I did have about 46% Irish/Scottish/Welsh and about 42% Western European (France/Germany, which they don't try to split out), I also had ALL kinds of other ethnicities that I'd never heard a thing about like Iberian peninsula, southeastern Europe (Slovakia/Slovenia, etc.), Middle Eastern (Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, etc.), and African. The ironic part is that I painfully fair-complected,burning and blistering after a short time in the sun, while my semi-olive-complected husband (dark hair, fairly dark eyes, and tans like a dream) turned out to be 100% European with about 30% of that being Finnish. That was it; I was addicted. Since then, I've tested with 4 other DNA testing companies. The ethnic breakdown varies widely among them. (One of them shows me at 57% British. Some Scandinavian got thrown in there by a couple of them (which makes sense since my dad had Dupuytren's contracture, aka the Viking disease). One added a small amount of Italian but took out the Iberian Peninsula (Spain/Portugal), and none of them except the original test had Middle Eastern, but all of them had between 1.7 and 2.2% African, though they diverge on where in Africa. It has been a fascinating journey. I also learned that the family legacy that my dad's maternal grandmother, Arabelle Clark, was genuinely a descendent of the William Clark family of Lewis and Clark fame, though I haven't gotten enough info yet to determine whether he was a direct grandparent or, perhaps, a 6 or 7th great uncle. And I did discover one 1st cousin once removed that I never knew existed. I suspect her grandfather, my mother's brother, and her grandmother split up early. He died at 42 with throat cancer. So much left to learn. And, yes, at this point I'm a bit obsessed. Tonight we ate at Cracker Barrel, and I found that I was looking at the old portraits on the walls in a different light, wondering whose ancestors they were and whether any of their descendants had seen the photos without realizing their relationship. Very interesting! And the fact that real life drives your stories is what makes them so poignant and compelling.
ReplyDeleteOh, JV, that's all fascinating! I would be addicted, too. I've been addicted here. And you're right, I'm pretty sure my grandmother never met Sarah. It makes me sad. I imagine here getting older, losing family and wondering. It kind of breaks my heart.
ReplyDeleteAnd how very cool about a mystery cousin! Have you contacted them?
And thanks for the kind words about my writing!
No, I wrote to her and never got a reply. Through the miracle of the internet and several genealogical resources, I discovered that her mother was the child of my mother's brother. The funny thing is that I never knew of the first cousin once removed's mother, either. So, I'm guessing that that relationship broke up shortly after it got started. I don't remember ever hearing my mother or any of her 8 siblings (well, 7, since one other brother died before I was born) speak of my uncle Elgie having a daughter or a granddaughter, though, having died at 42, he may never have been aware of the granddaughter. The sad thing is that she lived most, if not all, of her life living right here in the same city where I live, but I've never met her. I'm not sure why she isn't interested in contact since, aside from my daughter, she's genetically the closest relative that I've found on any of the DNA testing sites, including known first cousins and a known aunt. Go figure. As for the kind words, well, they're just the truth. You write from the heart, and it shows.
DeleteI hope at some point she does contact you. Family's all have their skeletons, I think. My grandmother's adoptive father being her bio dad was a story I heard from one of her friends. My grandmother heard it. I can't imagine how that felt for her. And I wonder about your uncle. I hope he did at least know he had a granddaughter. Oh, I really do hope your cousin contacts you someday.
DeleteI do, too. I would at least like to know more details about her life. In your grandmother's case, I wonder why her adoptive dad, who was also her biological dad, didn't tell her that himself. I can only suppose that it was to avoid the questions about who her bio mom was and why he didn't marry her (or to avoid the embarrassment that he might have felt at having impregnated a woman outside of marriage, which is much more likely during that time period). Like you, I wonder what she thought and how she felt about the whole situation. Once you've done some research on these folks, they become much more like real family and less like a name on a piece of paper.
DeleteHe was married when he had the affair with her mom. I'm sure it was something they thought no one would ever know. Especially her.
DeleteAnd yes, research does make them 'real.'